 |
|
| » tough job | |
I have a friend, that always complains about how tired he is from work. It's always the same. I call him, ask him if he wanna hang out, do some stuff and he is always like "nah man, I'm already in bed!", "dude I am so stressed out, I just came home from work", "I would, but I can't because I can not move my legs because I sat in comfy chair the whole day!". What the fuck? Do you think you are the only person on earth, that works his ass off? Stop complaining and claiming how hard your job is. You make marketing for a football club, for crying out loud! All you do is, sittin' on your ass in your little office, watch TV, play Madden Football, have some phone calls and occasionally write some shitty newsletter about how great things are going for your team. That ain't no tough job! That ain't no reason why you can't go out and drink a beer or ten. Fuck, go work in a coal mine for 10 hours a day, with blood running down your fingers, coal in your lung and all over your face and perhaps I believe you. And even those coal miners come home and have a beer, or watch a game or something! So I asked him "what did you do today, that made you so tired?" and he goes like "well, I had to buy something in the mall for the office. Later the day I had to make an update on our website, and than we had this huge players lunch, where we had to wear a tuxedo!". No shit? Boy you live the shitty life, don't you? Having lunch with some famous Football-Players… god I can imagine how that can piss you off... Honestly, I respect everybody who wakes up in the morning, who gets his ass up and do whatever the hell they are doing to buy food. What I can't stand though, are people who always want extra credits for stuff like that. When you grow up, some day, if you are lucky, you go to work. That’s just the way it is. It's not a big deal. And for most people it's exhausting. Most people don't really like what they are doing. Some people like their Jobs, but those are paid like crap or are just lowbrow, so that you become crazy one day. Like working for a video-rental. When I was like 12, the greatest job I could imagine, was working for a video-rental store. I imagined, how I sit on my ass, and watch movies the whole day and getting paid for it. I didn't even understand, why not everyone wants to work there? You meet different people, you have always someone to talk about stuff, shit you even have porn if you want to! When I was 18 I actually worked in a video-rental store. Boy what a fucked up job that was. It was the most boring and intellectually unchallenged job, I have ever done. After the first weeks of excitement I couldn't even watch movies no more. I got so fed up of movies, and discussions and opinions about them, that I wished someone take me to the library and make me read books about slavery and the reformation. People came in the store and were like "hey dude, what you think about that new Steven Seagal flick, I heard it kicks ass", and I was like "fuck Steven Seagal, that longhaired wanna be Indian Tai-Bo bitch! You wanna know who kicks ass? Martin Luther kicks ass!" I know what it's like, to have a shitty Job. But having a shitty job doesn't mean it's a tough job. Working in a video-rental store ain't tough! I was raised by a single mom, that took care of me and my sister, while working her ass off as a teacher in a school for the mentally retarded. That’s a tough Job. Producing a Reality Show about Jessica Simpson, that makes her look smart, funny and congenial, THAT’S a tough Job. Sitting in an office, writing emails and buying stuff on eBay ain't tough. So stop the fuck complaining! Complaining about a job is kinda ignorant anyway. I don't know about other countries, but in Germany unemployment is a big deal these days. Over 5 million people in Germany are without a job. And I'm not talking about lazy ass punks, that don't want to work. I'm talking about educated people. Young people, that just graduated from college or from law school. Back in the days, in order to get a job, you needed some good qualifications and a good job application. Times have change though. You know what you need now, to get a job? Luck! That’s right, you gotta have luck. How fucked up is that? And I am not talking about "luck" to get a dream job, with plenty of money and stuff like that. I am talking about luck to get a "sit-your-ass-in-a-boring-office-with-shitty-payment-and-fucked-up-colleagues" kinda job. The problem is, there just aren't enough jobs and way to many people that want one. So if there actually is a job, you are just one of like 500 people that wants the job. Of course companies have all the options, so they can filter out exactly what they need. So if you are over 40 and happen to lose your job in Germany, you are literally screwed. If you don't have the proper connections, it can take years- if at all - to get a new job. So if you are complaining about your shitty job, start thinking about people, that don't even have a job. They would fucking kill, to write a shitty E-Mail and get paid for it. People tend to take themselves and their life way to important. As people getting older, people get more and more ignorant. Like people that don't eat meat. I hate vegetarians. I really do. "Meat will hurt you", "Meat kills animals". Cut that shit, please. Imagine a kid from Namibia coming to our country with an exchange program or something. Now you're going to dinner and you see the eyes of the kid getting bigger and bigger. But there is your girlfriend, with this disgusting look on her face, pushing away that pound of bacon, like it's horseshit. "You know I don't eat meat!". Imagine the look on the face of that kid. That kid must be thinking "those white guys are fucking crazy!". And he'd be right. Everybody wants to look good nowadays. Girls want to be thin, guys go to the gym and work out to get muscles. Everybody pays shitloads for clothes and accessories and stuff. Everybody dreams of finding their soul mate, the one right person. The one person you want to spend the rest of your life with, the one that makes you complete. Here is the truth: You might never find the woman of your dreams. You might be old and fucked up, and never found the right woman. Hollywood Movies don't tell you that. I do! There is a -not to small- chance, that you end up lonely or with a fucked up wife, you're glad "not" to see! I'm not saying it's not possible to find true love and live happily ever after. I'm just saying that’s only "one" possibility you life might turn out to be. It's good to have dreams, but don't let dreams dictate you life. Lower your expectations, if you don't want to be disappointed. Expectations only make things worse. Why? Because they put you under pressure. You know why there are so many divorces? I tell you. Because of the pressure of proposals! That’s right, the pressure of a proposal! Imagine you're a girl and your boyfriend wants to propose to you. You like him, perhaps you love him but marriage is out of the question for you. So one bright day you are walking on the street, when he suddenly jumps out of a flying plane, skydiving with a rose-shaped parachute and landing right before you. Suddenly the plane opens a hatch, and hundreds of flowers a raining down the sky. A pickup Truck with Stevie Wonder in the back stops by and Stevie starts singing "isn't she lovely". Your boyfriend kneels right in front of you, tears are running down his face and in his hand, he holds the nicest ring you have ever seen. "You are the love of my life! Mrs. Schulz will you marry me?". Now tell me, you look that guy in the eyes and tell him, "well…I don't know. I'd rather not!". Bullshit! You would say "Yes!", marry him, and four years later, when you got bored to hell, you cheat on him, get a divorce ready and make him pay for your rent for the rest of your life. That’s why, when I want to marry a girl, I'll propose to her in the lowest and shittiest situation she can imagine. Like standing in the line in McDonalds: Me: "I'll take the double cheeseburger and a coke for her". She: "Diet coke!" Me: "Make that a diet coke. Baby, wanna get married?" She: "Yeah, why not" Me: "Cool!… And a McFlurry please!" The other day I overheard a conversation between a young guy and an old guy sitting on a park bench. Like father and son or something like that. The young guy asked the old guy, if he thinks that there is a perfect partner out there for everyone. The old guy smiled and said "kiddo, there are like hundreds of perfect partners for everyone out there". So the young guy asked the old guy "if that’s the case, why is it, that you are lonely?" And the old guy answered "Because it's not a question if there is a perfect partner for you, the question is, will you meet her?". If you find the woman of your dreams and you somehow manage to keep her, you are a fucking lucky person. That’s all. You just got lucky. You was at the right place, to the right time. People are obsessed with the idea that there is Mrs. or Mr. Right out there. You know why we are starving for that dream? Why it makes us do all the stuff we do? Because we all need it, to get shit done. We wouldn't do shit, if we could get supermodel girlfriends, while sitting home all day playing World of WarCraft! People always say, enjoy your life, while you're still young. What stupid advice is that? At what age does "enjoying life" becomes irrelevant? And why? "Oh, I'm 35 now, I better stop enjoying what I do, and get me a real job that bores the hell out of me..." Why do men wanna get a good job? Because they want a good girl! That’s the whole idea behind becoming successfull. The whole idea of capitalism is based on pussy, if you ask me. Why do people buy sports cars? To impress women! There is no need do have a 200PS car if you live in a big city. You don't need chromed out rims to buy some food in a supermarket, do you? Why would I want a job that pays me shitloads of money, when I all I really want to do, is grab my balls, watch soccer on a big TV screen and have some cold beer? I don't need a million for that! But I need a million for a tight ass woman that sticks with me, while I am grabbing my balls and watching the game. That’s why men are scared by women that make more money then themselves. Because men know, it's not in their hands now. If she's fed up, she just leaves your broke ass. Men need to be successful only for the women, not for themselves. That’s the truth! You think girls are into looks? Fuck that! I always hear guys complaining, that they can't get a certain girl, because of their looks. That's like biggest fairy tale ever told. Girls don't think like guys. It's not a question of looks. For a girl you just need a minimum of hygiene. You don't have to look like Joe Black, just don't look like Jack Black! That’s about it. Everything else depends on how you act and how you behave. Every guy wondered at least once in his life "how could an idiot looking moron like him, get a girl like that". Shit I ask that myself everytime I see with Seal with Heidi Klum. The point is, girls dig guys that are interesting. Now there couldn't be a wider field of definition, about what a girl thinks is "interesting". Being a guy, your whole purpose in life is, to figure out what makes you interesting for a girl. Example: If you got a crush on a girl, the worst thing you can do, is tell her. The second you tell her, you become the most uninteresting dude in world. She would rather go and fuck her history teacher than you. It's stupid, but that's how it works. In order to get a girl, you need to entertain a girl. You need to make her feel special. You need to make her laugh. You need to be kind, but not to kind. Girls hate guys that "do everything for them". They pretend it's what they want and what they are searching for, but it's just a trick to filter out the guys who really would do anything. You know why? Because girls want to work and play with men. They wanna turn men around. They wanna change men. For a girl, a guy is just like Fisherprice. They try stuff on you, they use you for this and for that, they use some parts now, some parts later, they tinker with you, but pray to god, that they'll never finish the project. Because once it's done, it's over. If you're fixed, you're fucked. Imagine two girlfriends talking about their relationships. Usually they cuss and they are upset and everything. But now it looks like this: Girlfriend 1: He cleaned everything up, cooked for me, and I had three orgasms. Girlfriend 2: I feel you, mine went to the supermarket and bought me ice-cream. Girlfriend 1: He is so nice, but I think I don't love him anymore. Girlfriend 2: Yeah, same here. Yesterday my friend called me. He asked me if I wanted to have a beer and watch the game. I told him that I can't, because I had to entertain my girlfriend the whole day and that’s just to tough of a job and I am way to tired… |
|
| © Etienne Gardé am 23.03.2005 | |